A New Attitude

Today I finally did it.  After a ridiculous amount of researching, I ordered an elliptical trainer.  I suppose it seems crazy that a 32-week-pregnant woman would purchase a piece of fitness equipment.  But after this baby is born, my new life begins.

In the last three years I have gained almost 75 pounds.

I have doubled my clothing size.

I have become grossly overweight.

Why am I writing this on a blog, a blog that anyone in the world can see?  I need to be accountable.

I often hear people diagnose women who become overweight as depressed.  That's not my problem.  It's quite the opposite with me.  I'm content.  I see a skinny person and rather than think "Wow! She looks great! I'm so jealous!" I think "Wow! She looks great! It's too bad she hasn't had a vanilla shake in a long time.  Lucky for me, I eat whatever I want."  That's not a good attitude to have.

So, when my elliptical trainer arrives (in 7-to-10 business days), my new attitude will take hold.  I'm going to try to start exercising every evening.  I already plan to put it in front of the television in our hearth room so I can watch the ten o'clock news and work out.

Barry's been extremely supportive.  He's watched me balloon, but still says I'm beautiful.  The problem is that this just adds to the "contentment issue."  He's made it okay for me to be fat, because I know he loves me unconditionally.

I'm past the point of doing this for myself.  I need to do this for my family.  Do I really want to be the mother who can't walk to the park without taking a break four times before I get there?  No way.  I want to be at a size that allows me to run after them.  I don't want them to be ashamed of their fat mother.

Wish me luck!