I Hate Meetings

Although I began this blog with the intent of keeping all content relatively positive, tonight I have to complain.  Today I attended a meeting.  I hate meetings.  And today's was especially horrendous.  Surprisingly, I entered today with high expectations.  My mother assured me that the speaker was captivating and the content was enthralling.  She lied.

The meeting was held at O'Neill Elementary School.  I was excited because I knew that the school had air conditioning.  I was unpleasantly surprised when I entered the building and found that the meeting was to be held in the school cafeteria.  And we were expected to spend the day sitting in cafeteria tables MADE FOR THIRD GRADERS!  Just envision this fat, grossly pregnant woman getting in and out of the bench seat.  Quite entertaining.  So 8:00 A.M. until 4:00 P.M. was spent crammed in the 12-inch space between the bench and the table.  And I didn't get up to stretch because I created quite a ruckus trying to get up.  The last thing I wanted to do was attract more attention to myself.  And, as if matters could get worse, the school had a password-protected wireless connection.  I was without e-mail or web for two hours until I finally convinced the kind woman in the office to give me the password.

During today's debacle, I mentally generated a list that should be followed at all meetings in order to make them more enjoyable for all involved:

1.  Provide a comfortable environment, preferably with cushy seating in chairs with backs.

2.  If you are the presenter, please refrain from including inspirational videos.  My "wildly important goal" for today was getting out a half-hour earlier if I didn't have to watch boring videos.  Give me the keywords to find them on YouTube.

3.  If you are an attendee, think about your question before you ask it.  And then, right before you open your mouth, think "Is this question really that important?"  For example, today we logged in under one username in the morning.  In the afternoon, the presenter asked us to log-in under a new username.  One woman raised her hand: "Do we have to log-off before we log-in again?"  Hmmm....

4.  Any meetings that involve technology should be organized based on technological ability.  People with no tech experience should be required to attend the entire session.  People who are quite familiar with computers should be able to attend a one-hour condensed course.

5.  Don't cater food from the local Mexican restaurant.  The last thing people who are squeezed into too-small of seating want to deal with is heartburn and indigestion.

Sometimes the difference between a positive experience and a negative experience is the use of a little common sense.

I rewarded myself for surviving today by gobbling down a mini-Blizzard at Dairy Queen.